Comments

2000
I am aware of the problem. I am working on fixing it.
2100
I lost Haloscan commenting, so you will have to bear with the default. Hopefully, I can get it restored and have done seamlessly.

0145 July 5th
Fixed.

My 2 Hour Window

Everyday I have a two hour break when nothing happens. It is not exactly the same time everyday but it happens everyday. This time I generally use to walk about the work areas or talk to some Marines about home. The last few days I have been using it for my blog and read other blogs of interest for me. (All are morally safe.)

This one group of blogs that I have been following are by a group of pastors(one term for all types, for simplicity) for churches all over the US. The one that caught my interest first was "Cheesehead in Paradise" , for obvious reasons.

One thing, of these blogs, is most of these pastors seem to like Monty Python's Holy Grail. I always thought this movie was exactly the opposite of what your spiritual leader was supposed to like. Maybe I have been wrong all these years.

What I should be doing in my 2 hour window is write some letters back home. So I decided that I will do one a night instead of writing all of them at once.

Peanut Butter Cookies

My Mom is definitely a veteran cookie packager and it shows. I can't remember when I received cookies that didn't make the journey to me.

I have been eating about 2 a day since the package arrived, so that the cookies will last longer. I can't eat chocolate, so most people get so confused and dumbfounded that I don't receive that many packages with cookies in them.

Not much beats a good peanut butter cookie and some flavored water after a twenty minute sandstorm trek.

Okay, there are a lot of things that do.

For here and now, that cookie is the best part of my day.

June Full Moon

This evening as I was starting my shift I noticed the moon. It is a rare to find the moon so large near one of our working spaces. I thought what an excellent photo op. Unfortunately, my camera doesn't see like my eyes do.

Hope you all enjoy!

Behind on Letter Writing

I really need to apologize. I am really far behind on my letter writing. Normally, pre-Iraq, I would never write a letter. Now, I have been writing a letter a bout once a month to several people and couples. Most are probably our(shop or work center) biggest benefactors, with supplies that tend to be essential. Hopefully in the next few days, I will a have a letter in the mail for these people:

Mom
My Brother and his wife
Julie Boutwell
Lori and Ron
Rena J's
Mark and Dorothy West
Judy Schleicher
Ken and Dorothy Fackina
Sheila Faul
Lauri Hansen
and
Faith Lutheran Church

Reading

I have been reading 3 books lately. Some of the Marines I run into ask how I keep them apart. I think of it like this:

Semper Fi in the Sky : is like the History channel, but better.
Gates of Fire : is like the SciFi channel meets discovery channel.
and Whispers : is like late night Cinemax slash Oxygen slash Spike wrapped into one.

Unfortunately, I am almost finished with all 3 of them so I will have to find a new channel soon.

Hallucinations of a Sane Man

I was reading this article in GQ (yes I am a subscriber) about how when you become a dad that are suddenly attracted to moms. I am not a dad and I am attracted to moms. The way the article reads is a prerequisite to finding moms hot is you have to be a dad. I say it is not so.

Granted, if you all haven't noticed, I am in the middle of the Iraqi desert. I think about a lot different types of women. Fantasy, sci-fi, erotic, pretty much every variety including the innocent type with long eyelashes,pony tails, and that type of southern draw that lends to a thought of purity.

Did I mention that July 15th is my half way point?

Donations and Self Donations

While I was on leave I sent 12 packages to myself for Iraq. Four of which were filled with underwear and socks. Those items I felt are a little too personal as far as asking for donations. Three other boxes were filled with stuff for my bicycle that I put together from broken bikes that were scattered around. The rest were filled with magazines, old mail, and a feather pillow. I have always enjoyed a good feather pillow to sleep on.

When I got back in country, there were several packages from all sorts of people and I distributed most or all of the items to my Marines. I one package, however, was a package of dried fruit and nuts. This particular item was well received by all.

I do have some personnel requests: Outside Thermometer, "Dried Fruit" such as banana chips, and "green tea by Lipton".
Requests from the Marines include : LED lights, Baby wipes, powdered drink mixes, Scotch tape, dried fruit and nuts, and chocolate

Chocolate bars will not make it to Iraq, many have tried and many have been received as a soupy mess.

Companionship

Morally speaking, I have always been more happy, in the long term sense of the word, while being deployed than when I have been in the states in garrison. I am mean let's face it, my personal life is generally fucked up most of time. I may have a few fleeting glimpses of happiness or "lustfullness", but really the longest time that I have been happy, my other half hated me, so that means I wasn't happy.

(Don't start calling the Chaplin, I am far from that. I like me. A lot.)

The companionship that I have never achieved as a married man, I obtain from being with my brother in arms.

I am a social animal that enjoys a good conversation with just about anyone.

(Don't worry I am straight, I like women.)

This might be why I have been thinking about going to Japan after this duty. We were stuck on an island and we made the best of it.

Something is definitely missing when I spend time in the states, I am just not sure what it is.

Email my Posts

I am trying to set up a email to blog, so that I can post more frequently here in Iraq. Hopefully, in the next few days a post or two will just pop up here.

I will give it till Friday, then I will do it manually. Not a big deal just trying to make it easier on myself.

Vacations and Updates

I have decided that when I get back to the US after this deployment I am going to go on one of those things called "vacations." I have never spent time in DC, I think I may try to stay up there for a week and see the sights. Then I think I may go on one those cruise ship things, you know the boat that has windows and even a pool on it. I have never really done that before and why not go.

In case you are wondering, I am back in Iraq.

I gave the gouge to my Marines on the do's and don'ts for leave. The stuff "they" don't tell you and would be helpful to know.

I still have not smoked a cigarette since the first week in February.

I have paid off almost all of my revolving credit.

And I slapped myself in the face after not finding the holy grail of happiness. It wasn't spiritual but it didn't need to be.

Leave in NC

Well, I finished my list and it still hasn't made me any more happy. As the leave has transpired, I have been more depressed and pissed off than I was when I was in "danger".

The deployment is just like all my other deployments, routine. You are never supposed to do a routine but it is inevitable. In my routine, I had more happy thoughts than I do here. Then again most of those happy thoughts included someone. Oops, what was I thinking. I am a veteran of this deployment thing, and I still fucked up somehow. I even did everything different and it still turned out the same.

There are some good points, I am staying at my Friend's home which she could have said ' sorry but you will have to find another place to sleep.' She did make me a meal which was very good. Her kids have been about the same, but I rarely have had any problems with kids other than my niece who won't look at me, let alone even tell me how her day was at school. My bother says I intimidate her, I don't understand her brother doesn't have that problem.

I am started to go way off subject here. In short, I am not a happy camper and everytime I try to make me happy, I lose. I just don't know what to do anymore.

R & R

I am currently on R and R. Which is supposed to be Rest and Relaxation. I am on day 4 and it has been nothing but. Someone had said to me that they needed to figure out what made them happy. (I am not that person.) I guess I need to do the same.

The standard things that I do to relax myself are:

1) Body Massage - not one with a happy ending but if they are giving it a away why fight it.

2) Pedicure - I wear boots for 14 plus hours a day, I am sure the ladies would agree this is a must.

3) Beer - what can I say I like the taste, I also like the taste of Captian Morgan with some coke, but not drinking for a 140 days makes that he last drink of the day.

I have found that you truly rest the best after sex. Unfortunately, sex is not on trees and Walmart doesn't carry it.

Going back to the original question, What make me happy? I don't know anymore, I think I fill my days with so much stuff that I don't have time to be happy.

I am content, to be back the states for 2 weeks. I rushed my ass off to get here, slept in all sorts of funky places to get on the next flight or bus, now I look back and wonder why I hurried.

Time

My mind is the same.

I believe my mind is the same. I have not changed. I am the same man I was 5 months ago.

This "evil" people seek is not encompassing the force.

The niceties of human nature are not present though most welcome the gesture at any given moment.

A welcomed hand is all that is needed.

The fray endures, as the beast is caged for what it seems to be eternity.

Self Refelection

The last few hours of my day and the first few of yesterday I have been self reflecting.
Probably long over due, and it was sparked by someone I care about letting me know I have been a jackass lately.

Some of my excuses why, I have been a jerk are kust that excuses. One for example is "everyone" hates the division I work in, the other division mike their priorities from us and we control their work flow. The last few years I have grown to hate this division, but now since I have been put into this billet I can understand the broader and bigger picture. There is no nice things said between divisions or supervisors.
The routine. The routine is the same every day nothing changes.

Well, I am starting to change some of those things and maybe I wont be such a jackass anymore. Tonight at my meeting, I did not say one bad thing about any division and kept it to under 2 minutes. Tomorrow after work myself and another Marine are going to chow. Then last few weeks I have been skipping this meal and so has he. Plus, we "vent" out our days on our way to chow, which might be a factor.

The big thing for me is be postive to the ones I love and appreciate what I have have and what they have given me. I cannot take for granted that they will be there and I must not push them away.

The 2 -D World

Have you seen the old Warner Brother cartoons with Bugs Bunny and the gang?

I was thinking of one in particular this morning on my way back to my barracks. The one where the sheep dogs greet the wolves back and forth between shifts for day and night. They clock in and out carrying lunchboxes. I remember this cartoon so well because that is how it is here.

Every morning and every evening I greet the same people going in or coming back from work. I feel I may be stuck in that cartoon.

The major difference would be I don't get my own sound effects. And my name is not Ralph.

Packages from Faith Lutheran

I received 3 packages from Faith Lutheran of Valders this past weekend. The boxes were adressed to me, but I gave away most of what was in it to my corporal and lance corporal.

I appreciate the care packages and my Marines appreciate it as well.

Toiletries and any other "consumable" are always in high demand. With summer rapidly approaching, the need for items such as: to dispel insects, sunscreen, lip balm, and lotions will go in high demand.

Again, I thank all that support us out here.

News Junkie

I am a news junkie; I have been for some time. If fact, I spend a good portion of my day reading the headlines and sub-headlines of many different newspapers. I also include the editorials.



Why editorials do, you ask. Simple. When anyone writes an article, the views of the writer are included and show the direction in which he or she wants you to view that subject as well.



That may be part of the reason I read several sources of news. I like BBC, Fox News, CNN, and Discovery. Sometimes I will read something by a "no namer" but for most of the time it is one the few I listed.



The news as it pertains to the good ol' US of A, I feel, is real important and directly affects my life, so I pay attention to Congress, the President and one occasion the Supreme Court.



Now that I have explained myself, I wish to talk (or criticize) about the majority of the minority who knows everything about military issues and what is best in America. To me, this category of people is: individuals who speak for others whether they agree with them or not. Did that make sense?



This group in my opinion are actors, singers, activists, lobbyists, et cetera who are popular because they lie well, are lustful, or some "evil" act that is popularized by American society.



What degree or journeyman did these people receive to lead everyone else in a fight that they have no experience with? I know it is not common sense and I know they didn't buy it at Wal-Mart.



I could easily write about this subject all day, but I have a job to do.



The flip side is I stood in line for a half in hour so I could either use the telephone or the computer for about 25 minutes but not both. ( Had this been 10 years ago I would have wrote this down on a napkin and stuck it my scrap book I have carrying round for the last 12 years or so and my grandkids would be the only ones reading it. )



My point for this was actually done in about three sentences, but I felt you all needed the background and the 'cause and effect' before getting there. I apologize for you.

The 2 Month Barrier

We have just entered crunch time. You know what I mean if you have deployed before. It is the time when everyone becomes what they truly are. If they are assholes in "real" life then they are assholes now. Let me explain it differently.

Some people will act extra nice to one another in the first few weeks thinking that this behavior will give them something, i.e. friends, bennies, what ever. After this endures for awhile, natural human behavior kicks in and whatever "type" of person they are normally, will be the person everyone sees.

Let's look at it like this:

Nice person + 2 months = Hateful to peers and unsatisfied person who still has 10 months to go on deployment

Spring is in the Air

I haven't updated this in such a while that I could easily write a small novel.

I won't though.

The 2 days of spring came and went, it was exciting. In celebration of a long spring I had a "near" beer. It was a Beck, but tasted like a Pabst Blue Ribbon with no kick. In case you are wondering it is 83 cents a can. Most of it tastes as if it was skunked which according to chemistry shouldn't be possible.