Monday, June 11, 2007

Vacations and Updates

I have decided that when I get back to the US after this deployment I am going to go on one of those things called "vacations." I have never spent time in DC, I think I may try to stay up there for a week and see the sights. Then I think I may go on one those cruise ship things, you know the boat that has windows and even a pool on it. I have never really done that before and why not go.

In case you are wondering, I am back in Iraq.

I gave the gouge to my Marines on the do's and don'ts for leave. The stuff "they" don't tell you and would be helpful to know.

I still have not smoked a cigarette since the first week in February.

I have paid off almost all of my revolving credit.

And I slapped myself in the face after not finding the holy grail of happiness. It wasn't spiritual but it didn't need to be.

Saturday, June 02, 2007

Leave in NC

Well, I finished my list and it still hasn't made me any more happy. As the leave has transpired, I have been more depressed and pissed off than I was when I was in "danger".

The deployment is just like all my other deployments, routine. You are never supposed to do a routine but it is inevitable. In my routine, I had more happy thoughts than I do here. Then again most of those happy thoughts included someone. Oops, what was I thinking. I am a veteran of this deployment thing, and I still fucked up somehow. I even did everything different and it still turned out the same.

There are some good points, I am staying at my Friend's home which she could have said ' sorry but you will have to find another place to sleep.' She did make me a meal which was very good. Her kids have been about the same, but I rarely have had any problems with kids other than my niece who won't look at me, let alone even tell me how her day was at school. My bother says I intimidate her, I don't understand her brother doesn't have that problem.

I am started to go way off subject here. In short, I am not a happy camper and everytime I try to make me happy, I lose. I just don't know what to do anymore.

Saturday, May 26, 2007

R & R

I am currently on R and R. Which is supposed to be Rest and Relaxation. I am on day 4 and it has been nothing but. Someone had said to me that they needed to figure out what made them happy. (I am not that person.) I guess I need to do the same.

The standard things that I do to relax myself are:

1) Body Massage - not one with a happy ending but if they are giving it a away why fight it.

2) Pedicure - I wear boots for 14 plus hours a day, I am sure the ladies would agree this is a must.

3) Beer - what can I say I like the taste, I also like the taste of Captian Morgan with some coke, but not drinking for a 140 days makes that he last drink of the day.

I have found that you truly rest the best after sex. Unfortunately, sex is not on trees and Walmart doesn't carry it.

Going back to the original question, What make me happy? I don't know anymore, I think I fill my days with so much stuff that I don't have time to be happy.

I am content, to be back the states for 2 weeks. I rushed my ass off to get here, slept in all sorts of funky places to get on the next flight or bus, now I look back and wonder why I hurried.

Friday, May 11, 2007

Time

My mind is the same.

I believe my mind is the same. I have not changed. I am the same man I was 5 months ago.

This "evil" people seek is not encompassing the force.

The niceties of human nature are not present though most welcome the gesture at any given moment.

A welcomed hand is all that is needed.

The fray endures, as the beast is caged for what it seems to be eternity.

Sunday, April 22, 2007

Self Refelection

The last few hours of my day and the first few of yesterday I have been self reflecting.
Probably long over due, and it was sparked by someone I care about letting me know I have been a jackass lately.

Some of my excuses why, I have been a jerk are kust that excuses. One for example is "everyone" hates the division I work in, the other division mike their priorities from us and we control their work flow. The last few years I have grown to hate this division, but now since I have been put into this billet I can understand the broader and bigger picture. There is no nice things said between divisions or supervisors.
The routine. The routine is the same every day nothing changes.

Well, I am starting to change some of those things and maybe I wont be such a jackass anymore. Tonight at my meeting, I did not say one bad thing about any division and kept it to under 2 minutes. Tomorrow after work myself and another Marine are going to chow. Then last few weeks I have been skipping this meal and so has he. Plus, we "vent" out our days on our way to chow, which might be a factor.

The big thing for me is be postive to the ones I love and appreciate what I have have and what they have given me. I cannot take for granted that they will be there and I must not push them away.

Thursday, April 19, 2007

The 2 -D World

Have you seen the old Warner Brother cartoons with Bugs Bunny and the gang?

I was thinking of one in particular this morning on my way back to my barracks. The one where the sheep dogs greet the wolves back and forth between shifts for day and night. They clock in and out carrying lunchboxes. I remember this cartoon so well because that is how it is here.

Every morning and every evening I greet the same people going in or coming back from work. I feel I may be stuck in that cartoon.

The major difference would be I don't get my own sound effects. And my name is not Ralph.

Sunday, April 08, 2007

Packages from Faith Lutheran

I received 3 packages from Faith Lutheran of Valders this past weekend. The boxes were adressed to me, but I gave away most of what was in it to my corporal and lance corporal.

I appreciate the care packages and my Marines appreciate it as well.

Toiletries and any other "consumable" are always in high demand. With summer rapidly approaching, the need for items such as: to dispel insects, sunscreen, lip balm, and lotions will go in high demand.

Again, I thank all that support us out here.

Thursday, March 29, 2007

News Junkie

I am a news junkie; I have been for some time. If fact, I spend a good portion of my day reading the headlines and sub-headlines of many different newspapers. I also include the editorials.



Why editorials do, you ask. Simple. When anyone writes an article, the views of the writer are included and show the direction in which he or she wants you to view that subject as well.



That may be part of the reason I read several sources of news. I like BBC, Fox News, CNN, and Discovery. Sometimes I will read something by a "no namer" but for most of the time it is one the few I listed.



The news as it pertains to the good ol' US of A, I feel, is real important and directly affects my life, so I pay attention to Congress, the President and one occasion the Supreme Court.



Now that I have explained myself, I wish to talk (or criticize) about the majority of the minority who knows everything about military issues and what is best in America. To me, this category of people is: individuals who speak for others whether they agree with them or not. Did that make sense?



This group in my opinion are actors, singers, activists, lobbyists, et cetera who are popular because they lie well, are lustful, or some "evil" act that is popularized by American society.



What degree or journeyman did these people receive to lead everyone else in a fight that they have no experience with? I know it is not common sense and I know they didn't buy it at Wal-Mart.



I could easily write about this subject all day, but I have a job to do.



The flip side is I stood in line for a half in hour so I could either use the telephone or the computer for about 25 minutes but not both. ( Had this been 10 years ago I would have wrote this down on a napkin and stuck it my scrap book I have carrying round for the last 12 years or so and my grandkids would be the only ones reading it. )



My point for this was actually done in about three sentences, but I felt you all needed the background and the 'cause and effect' before getting there. I apologize for you.

Monday, March 26, 2007

The 2 Month Barrier

We have just entered crunch time. You know what I mean if you have deployed before. It is the time when everyone becomes what they truly are. If they are assholes in "real" life then they are assholes now. Let me explain it differently.

Some people will act extra nice to one another in the first few weeks thinking that this behavior will give them something, i.e. friends, bennies, what ever. After this endures for awhile, natural human behavior kicks in and whatever "type" of person they are normally, will be the person everyone sees.

Let's look at it like this:

Nice person + 2 months = Hateful to peers and unsatisfied person who still has 10 months to go on deployment

Friday, March 23, 2007

Spring is in the Air

I haven't updated this in such a while that I could easily write a small novel.

I won't though.

The 2 days of spring came and went, it was exciting. In celebration of a long spring I had a "near" beer. It was a Beck, but tasted like a Pabst Blue Ribbon with no kick. In case you are wondering it is 83 cents a can. Most of it tastes as if it was skunked which according to chemistry shouldn't be possible.

Tuesday, March 06, 2007

March Madness

It has been so long since I posted there almost nothing to say and everything to say at the same time. (Confusing isn't it?)

Here's some updates:

The weather is horrible, it is cold today and will be not tomorrow, then out of no where a sandstorm appears. I get so excited, I can't wait until summer.

I am paying Sam's Club, but not the way I wanted. I am still having problems with my web account.

For some darn reason there was no mail call yesterday.

I have visited the post office enough times now to say the average wait is 2 hours and 37 minutes to mail a package the size of a VCR tape and it takes an average of 4 hours and 22 minutes to mail a package the size of a footlocker, from Iraq.

I now know the true meaning to "smurf butt" and I don't like it.

I have day dreams of clearing my M9 and then losing my reflective belt.

The only way I know there is a change in day, is post office opens later on Sundays.

Saturday, February 24, 2007

Don't Forget Your Statement When Paying Bills

I have been trying to pay for a bill from Sam's Club since arriving in Iraq and been have difficulty due to me not remembering the statement and not bring the card that was issued to me. I started with what I thought was a simple line of questioning at the Sam's Club website to an email game of tag. I am including it for your viewing pleasure:

From: ssgt
Sent On: 2007-01-24 21:30:04.0
To: Membership.Services@samsclub.com
Subject: Contact Sam's Club
Customer First Name : T Customer Last Name : W
Customer Membership# :
Customer Phone # :
Customer Message : I wish to access my account but do not have my card with me and do not remember my login information.
I wish to make payments via the web fore I am deployed.
My address for the deployment is:
BLAH (I took out some stuff for this post.)
I have listed my email address above.
Thank you in this matter.

The reply:

-----Original Message-----
From: Membership.Services@samsclub.com[mailto:Membership.Services@samsclub.com]Sent: Friday, January 26, 2007 2:12 AM
To: Ssgt
Subject: <>Contact Sam's Club
To help us provide the best service possible to you, please do not change the subject of, or any replies to, this email.
Dear T,
Thank you for contacting Sam's Club. In order for us to access your online account and look up you login information, we will need a phone number, zip code, or membership number. We apologize for any inconvenience.
For any further questions or concerns please continue to email us or contact us at 888-746-7726.

Respectfully,
Sam's Club
------------------------------------------------------------------------
From:SSgt
Sent On: 2007-01-25 21:41:39.0
To: mserve@samsclub.com
Subject: RE: <>Contact Sam's Club
Classification: UNCLASSIFIED
I don't remember my membership #, its on the card. My address listed for the account should be BLAH, and the phone listed should be BLAH. If I had the my membership number

I wouldn't be asking in this way.

SSgt
Al Asad

-----------------------------------------------------------
-----Original Message-----
From: mserve@samsclub.com [mailto:mserve@samsclub.com]
Sent: Monday, February 05, 2007 7:16 PM
To: Ssgt
Subject: <>RE: Contact Sam's Club
To help us provide the best service possible to you, please do not change the subject of, or any replies to, this email.
Thank you for contacting Sam's Club,
Your membership number is (some number).
Your user id is your email address.
If you have any further questions don't hesitate to contact us.
Respectfully,
Jessica
------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: SSGT
Sent On: 2007-02-07 01:01:40.0
To: Membership.Services@samsclub.com
Subject: RE: <>RE: Contact Sam's Club
Classification: UNCLASSIFIED
That number does not work on the site as a valid account number. Also,which email address is my login. I have tried all that I remember and none are on file.

SSgt
------------------------------------------------------------------------
-----Original Message-----
From: Membership.Services@samsclub.com[mailto:Membership.Services@samsclub.com]
Sent: Wednesday, February 14, 2007 7:46 PM
To: Ssgt
Subject: <>RE: RE: Contact Sam's Club
To help us provide the best service possible to you, please do not change the subject of, or any replies to, this email.
Dear Sam's member,
Thank you for contacting Sam's club.Please contact us at Sam's club customer service at (888)746-7726.
We will be able to get you the login for the online system.
Sincerely,
Tina
------------------------------------------------------------------------
From: SSGT
Sent On: 2007-02-14 11:03:13.0
To: mserve@samsclub.com
Subject: RE: <>RE: RE: Contact Sam's Club
Classification: UNCLASSIFIED

I am in Iraq. I cannot call you. I need better assistance.

SSgt
------------------------------------------------------------------------
-----Original Message-----
From: mserve@samsclub.com [mailto:mserve@samsclub.com]
Sent: Thursday, February 22, 2007 10:38 PM
To: Ssgt
Subject: <>RE: RE: RE: Contact Sam's Club
To help us provide the best service possible to you, please do not change the subject of, or any replies to, this email.
SSgt ,
Thank you for contacting Sam's Club. I have registered you on the website. Your login is the email address on that you sent this email from. The password is 123456. If you need further assistance please let us know. You can change the password by clicking on Forgot Password. This will email a link to you to reset it. Thank you and have a nice day.

Respectfully,
Mary S
------------------------------------------------------------------------
From: SSGT
Sent On: 2007-02-24 11:03:13.0
To: mserve@samsclub.com
Subject: RE:<>RE: RE: RE: Contact Sam's Club
Classification: UNCLASSIFIED
The account is a new one, not the original account in which I need to give you money. Help me, Help you.

SSgt
----------------------------------------------------------
As you can see, I have not gotten anywhere. Really. I will keep you all posted. This is one of my highlights in my Microsoft Outlook portion of the day.

I kidding, you know that. Right?

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Gray Hair

I know why military retirees have gray hair. This place and similar situations cause it.

While performing my job, there is a "crisis" everyday. Everything else must stop, so that we (myself and maintainers) can fix the "problem" and the aircraft can fly for whatever mission that is commencing or about to commence in next few hours.

And to think, I just re-enlisted for another 4 years of this crap. (I think I am just looking at the possibility of ending a military career before I hit 40.)

I also put in for warrant officer again, which would string out my time a few more years and my hair would definitely be gray at the end of it.

The good part is most of it is coming in at the sides just above my ears. I can have that trimmed off when I get my haircut.

Thursday, February 15, 2007

Night Crew

I am currently working nights, which in turn would mean I am working a shift similar to one in the States that would be a day shift.

I go to work when it is daylight and I leave work when it is daylight, but during work it is dark outside unless the moon is out.

To me it seems I get less accomplished on night crew, but the stress is lower. Our power goes out regularly, which in turn means not a lot of maintenance gets done in the dark. Unfortunately, the timing is not regular.

I do get to reflect on my day more, but time to stand in line for the phone seems futile since we need power, and the only time I have that is free is when we don't have power.

Gotta love it.

Really the best part of the day for everyone is "mail call." Everyone loves it when they get a letter. Not everyone does, so I share. (Goes back to that "Any Marine" program.)

I have sent out several replies in the last few days, I hope it doesn't take too long.

Thursday, February 08, 2007

The WO package, nicotine, & stuff a church group could send.

For the sixth year now, I have put in for warrant officer. The process is pretty much the same year after year, the only real change this year is I am in a combat zone. So my picture was done in the desert MARPAT uniform and not all of my medical precommissioning checklist can be completed here. For the most part the rest is the same, still have a fairly large document of stuff about me in terms that most military people can only read, have an interview with officers that were once enlisted(mostly objective questions), and there is always extra red tape and a few hoops you need to jump through. In a way, it seems the officers try to make the process as hard as possible so you can not be one of them, you know, crossing into the "dark side". I received a good recommendation and today it has been forwarded to "group" where they will endorse it, send it to wing they endorse it and then it arrives at Headquarters Marine Corps. The board convenes in June the results are posted in late July. Yea! I figure the worst thing "they" could do is appoint me.

I stopped taking or you could say I stopped putting the patch on my arm. I have been still taking Zyban, but sleeping hasn't been that great. One the most common side effects is lack of sleep (another is lack in sexual desire). All in all, I think I am doing pretty good with that.

Q-tips, snack food such as breakfast bars, popcorn, beef jerky, magazines, blankets, paper filter masks (paint face masks), just about anything you could think about you might need in a desert that is high use or disposable are items myself and others need or want. The basic stuff like razors and soap, along with anti-bacterial wipes, cleaner, hand soap are used everyday and is needed. If you have ever been to Yuma, Arizona, think about what you needed there and then subtract about 10 degrees for the winter (30-40s) and add about 30 degrees for summer (130-150s) , that may help in figuring out what we need or want. There is no Wal-mart, no Fleet Farm, and no Applebee's. At the base I am am at, there is a Pizza Hut and a Burger King, but I am not eating in a place that has no food inspector and the closest cattle is in India where they are sacred.

I am listed in http://anysoldier.com/WhereToSend/ you can look up by last name, country, or many other unique ways. I am supporting about 20 Marines.

Tuesday, February 06, 2007

Navy Showers

We are supposed to take "navy showers".

Here's the definition:
Wet body,
Lather body with soap,
Rinse body,
and you're done!

The idea is to have plenty of hot water for everyone and to conserve on water.

Well, the water (for showers and sinks) is "made" and is disinfected water and in turn is not potable.

All I want is five minutes of hot water, I don't think this is too much to ask for. Is it? If you give five minutes, of straight, hot water, then I will take those navy showers my superiors tell us to take.

The typical shower I get at 0400 (morning) is excruciating hot water for one minute, then sub zero cold water for 30 seconds, then warm water for 5 seconds. This cycle will then repeat and the times for each temperature are not the same, it varies.

The rumor is the best time to take a shower is mid-day. When some of the offenders of not taking the five minute showers are taking longer, in theory. But who cares, its day time and it is warm outside. I am not afforded the opportunity to take showers during the day, for I have a job. Hell, I seldom eat lunch, much less, even thinking of taking my clothes off to get clean. I mean really, why would I want to bathe.

Monday, February 05, 2007

Quit Smoking: Day 9

I had duty on Saturday, and that was the true test. 24 plus hours of mostly boredom. I made it through. Yesterday, I pretty much slept all day.

The nicotine patch I am wearing is a 7 mg, and I can't tell the difference. I only have 4 more patches, so day 14 will be the last test per se'.

My boss said if he sees anyone giving me a smoke or if I am smoking, the culprit will owe the division a night out in town.( I don't know if he has noticed but we're in Iraq.)

Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Quit Smoking: Day 5

The urge to pick up a cigarette has pretty much gone away, but ( there always seems to be one) the nicotine urge hasn't. I had forgotten my patch yesterday and by 0800 I was hurting. By 0930, I had a new one on. On Sunday, I am stepping down to a lower patch and then the week after its bye-bye nicotine. Mid-February I should be completely nicotine free.

Just think, 18 years of smoking and all I got out of it....hold on...I got a bunch of shit because I was a smoker. I networked like it was going out of style. I received a bunch of stuff from good ol' Phillip. Phil even gave me birthday presents, hell, he remembered better than my friends.

Okay, I know what you are thinking, smoking is bad. Then again, so is getting your head chopped off by a rotating rotor of a 53 because you didn't listen to the crew chief for she was a couple of ranks lower than you and what could she know and you didn't wear your hearing protection 'cause you think that is for sissies so now you can't hear when she said don't go that way 'cause you'll get your head chopped off, is also.

I don't know maybe you should make the call.

Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Quit Smoking: Day 3

I am sitting on about 62 and half hours now, and I am only having problems when I drink coffee or I walk past a smoke pit. Unfortunately, there are many smoke pits. (Hard to avoid.)

Been having a little hard time sleeping. I think, when it gets warmer I may use my sleeping bag as my snuggle buddy.

My Corporal wants me to start smoking again. I have been keeping him busy since I have been keeping busy. Not that my job is hard to keep busy with, I have just added a few extra jobs that don't hurt to get done. ( My Sergeant thinks I am developing OCD.)

Next week, I will be lowering my patch to 7 mg. We shall see, what may come.

Sunday, January 28, 2007

Quit Smoking: Day 2

So it's been about 33 hours since my last cigarette and all I think about is smoking a cigarette. In fact last night, I had a dream about smoking.

I admit I have been looking for a reason to have just a drag off someone else's cigarette, but since I warned everyone early they haven't indulged. I better off, right?