Liar's Dice

I have been tagged by DCup for seven untrue facts about yours truly. Of course this concoction has been derived from Splotchy. Was there a question in your mind? In addition, because I can't say no, literary genius aside, call it charity to the minds.

1) Yesterday morning I awoke with trumpets being sounded and was escorted to work on top of giant elephants covered in jewels and a processional of forty two jaguars that had a slight touch of gray in their coats.

2) The occasion was trumped when the President of the Federation of Planets arrived via her flying Yugo. She announced that she is stepping down to let me pave the way as the new PFP. I know you are all ecstatic about his new development.

3) My first act as the PFP was to decommission Mars. The Martians upon hearing the great news decided to send Earth a fission bomb as and act of kindness. Knowing full well that Earth is not big enough to handle a fission bomb, I plucked it out of the atmosphere while flying in my Yugo and ate it. The indigestion from the fission bomb was horrendous; luckily, for me China has developed a new antacid from lead that does the trick every time you eat a fission bomb from Mars.
`
4) During lunch, news traveled fast of my appointment as the PFP, an assassination attempt was made on my life from the Plutonians. I saw them coming far ahead before they got to me, since Earth isn't filled with cartoon dogs. I gathered them up with the help of my right-footed trolls and put them in my trunk of my flying Yugo.

5) Mid-afternoon I received a medal of distinguished service as the PFP from the planet Saturn. It was presented for my long and illustrious service as a PFP.

6) Tired from the long day, I declared three in the afternoon official nap time and napped we did. I laid to rest atop my bed of elongated buffalo nickels enchanted with fairy dust. The fairy dust came from the fairy I have mounted on my wall of trophies. It is famous in thirty-four galaxies and a honorable mention in two universes.

7) After my nap, I borrowed Mathman's TARDIS, unfortunately it needed some maintenance and has left me stranded inside core of Mars, which I have decommissioned and unable to leave via the TARDIS. The Martians know this and have replaced my body on Earth with a Martian clone to take over the Federation of Planets and eventually decommission Earth.

`

So since this is a tagging game, I tag:

Identity Mixed

Yearning For God*

Presbyfruit

Hot Cup Lutheran*

LadyBurg*

The Village Carpenter

Presbyterian Gal*

I figure since I had to come up with seven fibs which almost doubled my current tally, I would give this gift to seven others.

Who Are You?

I am know who I am.
Most of you know who I am.
Some of you think you know who I am.

Since we all know who I am please do not use my name, meaning my "real" name when commenting. I know you are talking to me because you are here, on my site, to read this discombobulated text written by me.

I know there is no point in being anonymous in this world, but let's pretend. Let us all pretend together. So then we can be merry.

You want to be merry don't you?
Great.

I am glad we are in agreement.

Now stop using my real name.



I mean it.

I may send my imaginary army of left footed trolls after you, if you do not heed my warnings.

Okay, then.

I Have Been Blessed

I truly do not think I qualifiy to be blessed and I shouldn't be the one blessing other people. You can read about me being a heathen here. But in the spirit of the gesture, the following is the roots:

The idea… it’s a game of tag with a difference, rather than looking inwardly, we look outside ourselves and bless, praise and pray for one blog friend. By participating in this endeavour we not only make the recipient of the blessing feel valued and appreciated, but we are having some fun too. We’re going to see how far the bloggin’ blessings can travel around the world and how many people can be blessed! Recipients of a bloggin’ blessing may upload the above image to their sidebar if they choose to. If you recieve a bloggin’ blessin’ please leave a comment on this thread here so that we can rejoice in just how many blessings have been sent around the world!

Steve, a blogsphere friend, has blessed me. To which, I can not thank enough.

I bless:
Rogue Gunner
Random Thoughts of an Aspiring Expat (Jan's daughter)
Inner Dorothy*

The above people/blogs all need a blessing. Whether they know it or not. Each have there own struggles with life and if grace can be wrought through them, then all can be well in the world.
I am supposed to say a prayer with my explanation, but I feel my explanation is my prayer.

So You Are About to be Deployed

So you're about to be deployed for seven, nine, twelve or fourteen months to some barren waste land on the other side of the globe with no Wally's World or Mic Dicks within MRAP distance. What can you bring to make your time more enjoyable?

I am so glad you asked, I have some suggestions. (The following are just that suggestions that worked for me or for the ones I work with. No guarantees on your experience.)

Condoms - No not for sex, because "no one here is allowed to have sex," condoms are great for stopping unwanted particles entering your rifle through the barrel or the magazine chamber when not outside the wire. Also, ladies, condoms help keep your vibrators stay nice and clean.

ID holder - I used the one in the link, but you may want to use an armband version, either way you will want to use something that is handy to carry your ID, a little cash, a key and can be secured to your person somehow.

M9 Holster - You can find some leather holster out here but you may want to find something that is more comfortable to you and your equipment. There are some who are content with what they were issued, most use an after market holster. The style in the link is the most common.

MP3 player - Whether it is an iPod or Zune or something else, tunes always make the day go by a little faster.

Video Game Consoles - If you are one that is not going to be outside the wire constantly, this is a good time waster. I brought a laptop, but almost everyone has something.

Alarm Clock - Just because some days you don't want to get up.

Ziploc bags - The "color seal" is nice to have and a kind of guarantee that it is closed. Ziplocs are handy all the time. It won't take long before you realize what a gem they are.

The three things I always deploy with are: a feather pillow, sleep mask, a cotton blanket. Call me crazy, but to me it is the essentials.

Good luck with your adventure.

The Center of the World

Sometimes I would like to think that I am the center of the world but I know better. Through some of my travels I made it to the Center of the World. I talk about it more here.

PresbyFruit & The Village Carpenter

The Village Carpenter & PresbyFruit sent me a nice care package with all sorts of goodies in it. Thank you both for the box. The card is awesome!
This is another example of how small the world is.

Top Ten Posts Read of the Year

The following is a list of what YOU, the reader, felt is the most interesting ramblings of a wretch like me. The numbers in parenthesis are number of hits for the last 365 days.)

10) I.Q. - December 6th, 2007 (75)

9) Five of My Favorite Gifts of All Time - November 27th, 2007 (84)

8) Letters - The Answer Expanded, Part II - November 30th, 2007 (86)

7) Green Bay Packers Tops My List - Semptember 1st, 2007 (101)

6) 1st Week Sergeant's Course - January 6th, 2006 (150)

5) Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious - September 07, 2005 (189)
(The title at the post redirects you elsewhere.)

4) How I Was Infected - December 11, 2007 (190)

3) The Marines' Hymn - November 9th, 2007 (210)

2) Quit Smoking: Day 3 - January 30, 2007 (265)

And the number one post:

1) Let me tell you about TPS Reports - June 07, 2006 (558)

To the Top..

I figure my WIIFM might be answered here.



(Bonus points if you can guess where this photo was taken.)

Calling Mom.

I stood in line to use the phone for about three hours and then suddenly the network was out. So no signal. Unpredictable these things are, says the guy working on it. So I waited around for another half hour and the guy working on it says he has no idea how much longer it will be. So I figure that means it will be awhile. I go back to work and relieve my counterpart for awhile. He comes back and says he just used the phones to call home and the line were "not long." So I go back and the line is longer than the three hour line I stood in earlier. I will figure something out or I will have to wait until tomorrow.


Update: I talked to Mom about an hour later.

WIIFM?

As the day is closing, I can't help but wonder the WIIFM. (We, military people use acronyms for everything.) The WIIFM is What's In It For Me. I know there are many like me.

You just have to love the holidays.

Christmas Morning

I have never seen the sky look as it looks now. I have been trying to get a pictures but my camera is cheap and does not take night pictures.

The above is a representation of what is in the sky. There is a circle of clouds around the moon and are illuminated with mars slightly to the east.

I asked someone else about it and their reply was they saw the sky like this before, well I haven't.

Bush Calls 10 Overseas Troops on Christmas Eve

One of ours received a phone call today.

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,318167,00.html

Story Time

Packers - Bears Game, Part II

Not happy.

Packers - Bears Game

I unfortunately will not be able to watch the game tonight. I will try to get my updates via the web as often as I can. It is a big game. Always is and most likely always will be.

Something Quick

It is relatively warm so far today. I came into work and it is in the low forties. Predictably the temp doesn't drop more than fifteen degrees fro the time I arrive to the time I leave. There are exceptions to that rule though. I am listening to Turn to Stone by the Electric Light Orchestra at the moment. My boss is writing up my "evaluation" this weekend, we call them Fitness Reports or FitReps.

I received some Christmas card in the mail today, from the Fauls, Hansons, Langs, Youngs, Dice and Singhs. Thank you for the cards. If I already didn't say mail will be rerouted here shortly so please do not send anything more this way, to prevent the delay.

I myself stood in line in the post office for a couple of hours today and didn't get seen because sleep was becoming more important. I will try again in a few days, after Christmas, it then may be better.

I thank eveyone who comments on this blog, the little interaction here helps. And it is the little things.

A Day in My Life

The alarm clock starts going off around 1745. The snooze lasts for four and half minutes and the beeping varies each time. At 1800, the duty turns on my lights and makes sure I am awake. I roll out of bed with my Green Bay Packer shorts and find my slippers and a sweatshirt. I gather my hygiene bag, a towel and some fresh skivies and trek to the showers. The shower trailer is about forty yards from the building that I sleep in. It is usually dark when going from here to there, the path is mostly muscle memory now.

By 1815 I am done shaving, brushing my teeth, and showering and am headed back to dress for the day. Since it has been steadily getting colder I have been donning more clothing. I put these "polypro" bottoms on that are similar to long johns but not as warm but are always itchy. Then socks, a sweatshirt, a fleece, then my MARPAT (MARine Disruptive PATtern) trousers and blouse. I will pack up my backpack that is also MARPAT with whatever extra items I feel I might need, this may include an outer fleece garment, camera, goggles, neck gator (like ninja mask) fleece cap, inner gloves, outer gloves, scarf, and any food items that I may want to snack on throughout the day. I put on my interceptor vest, my M9 holster with magazine pouches( at the same time I will add my M9, pistol, and attach it via my lanyard to my interceptor vest), then Gortex MARPAT jacket and my Kevlar helmet.


On my way out of the building, at about 1835, I inform the duty with my identification number and where I am going. No names are ever spoken. I use a bicycle to ride to work everyday so I will also put a reflective belt on my body as well as my backpack. I use about two kilometers of road and about two and half kilometers of rough terrain to get to the compound where I work. There is at least one gate in which I pass that requires positive identification before proceeding. Total distance is a little less than three miles.


I arrive about 1845 at the mobile facility unit that I work in. It is a complex configuration of metal boxes attached together. We work in the same type of buildings in the rear(garrison). For the next fifteen to thirty minutes I will receive a pass down of the days events and any pending issues that are still in play. The computer I use is a hot seat computer, meaning it is used all day long by one Marine, then when the shift ends the next Marine from the next shift sits down and uses all night.




My job is to ensure overall coordination and control of workload priorities for the Maintenance Department. I maintain a close working relationship with all supported squadrons assigned to MAG-29 (Marine Air Group) and I resolve problems affecting aircraft readiness. I monitor and expedite inductions and repairs of aircraft components and resolve inventory problems with the Supply Department.

For the next several hours, I ensure the priorities of the squadron are actively being entertained. I "visit" every maintenance division within MALS-29's (Marine Aviation Logistics Squadron)compound. I have found from experience that being present in ones workspace is better than calling or email. I will visit, in not in any particular order(keeps them guessing), GSE(Ground Support Equipment) which has tow tractors, stands, cranes and other like items; AVI (Avionics) which works on electronic and electrical components of aircraft such as radios, radar, weapons controls; A/F (Airframes) this division has three sides, hydraulics, metal, and tires( I don't know why it is split that way); and PP(Power Plants) all engines for aircraft and items that have bearings that don't already go to one of the other divisions.

Sometime at about 2300ish, I coordinate efforts to bring approximately 15 vats of food to the compound and chow is served from the Marines of one of the divisions to the night crew Marines and Sailors. Most eat this meal here at the compound. Myself and a few other bike, some walk, and the few that have vehicles will drive to the DFAC (Dining Facility) and the closest one open is about six kilometers or about three miles from the compound. Before entering any place where the military gathers at there is positive identifications and weapons clearing.

The last half the night is similar to the first half as far the duties and responsibilities. Everyday the computer systems shut down for about half hour. Once every week the power goes down for some darn reason or another. This happened yesterday the temperature in the mobile facility dropped 22 degrees in first fifteen minutes. Luckily, the power was only off for about forty minutes. Close to the end of my shift, I produce reports of the progress of the squadron and update any pending issues. I consult with a representative of the Supply Department about lag times for consumable parts and update statuses as needed.

By approximately 0650 the day shift will be here and I give my pass down and hand over the day's reports. My computer is hot seated and I don all my gear for a bike ride back to the building where I live.

Once arriving back to my living quarters I inform the duty of my identification number and he will log me in. At this point if I need to do any tasks such as pick up or drop off my laundry and the laundry facilities, go to the PX (Post Exchange) for any items of need, or go to the Post Office to mail items off. I usually read for about an hour or so and by 1000 I am ready to sleep. On random days during random times during the day the "Big Voice" which is an early warning device with loud speakers on it, will go off and sometimes repeat instructions. It is called a "Big Voice" for a reason. I try to get about six hours of good solid sleep, sometimes I do and sometimes I don't.

RevGals Friday Five: It's Almost Christmas

RevHRod of RevGals writes:
I have debated with myself for weeks about today's Friday Five.
Self 1: It should be deep and theological.
Self 2: But it's almost Christmas, it should be fun and warm and sweet.
Self 1: But your last Friday Five was sort of silly. You should show your more serious side.
Self 2: You worry WAY too much!

So after consulting with my fourteen year old daughter, we're going playful, pals o' mine! I love stories, so I hope you'll tell some about your favorite Christmas memories.

~~

1) What was one of your favorite childhood gifts that you gave:

When I was 16 I found this beer stein that was a boot at a rummage sale for 25 cents, I have wrapped it and gave it to my father that Christmas.

2) What is one of your favorite Christmas recipes?
Peanut Squares
This is a catch all desert, good at anytime during the year. I think the recipe is cutting angel food cake into squares, add frosting to all sides, then add crushed peanuts to the sides. Done. It is like the best "guy" recipe.

3) What is a tradition that your family can't do without? (And by family, I mean family of origin, family of adulthood, or that bunch of cool people that just feel like family.)
I really have no idea. I will end up giving my sergeant some time to attend mass, then it is back to work.

4) Pastors and other church folk often have very strange traditions dictated by the "work" of the holidays. What happens at your place?
I may sing some carols until my sergeant can't take it anymore. Maybe a tad longer than that.

5)If you could just ditch all the traditions and do something unexpected... what would it be?
Visit another country.

35 Degrees

Fun with Navy Medicine, Part IV

Typing is a little harder to do with this thing on my arm/hand. So if it looks like the number of posts dropped from me, then a duh factor should be applied.

When I try to stray away from a politically comment, the following my be construed as one. It is not, it is an opinion.

I keep reading about universal health care for the US. I think it is a bad idea. In essence, I have universal health care while being in the military. Yes, I am seen when I have a problem, but I have learned to go when I really, really need to go see a doctor. Just because, I am seeing a doctor doesn't mean this doctor is a general practitioner, but he or she is a doctor of something. There are speciality doctors placed in the correct speciality, but to be seen in one, you have to go through "your" unit doctor and that means he or she may not think you need to go. That equates to fun. Also, in my opinion, every doctor I have seen seems to think everyone is a hypochondriac. So while you are telling your problems or showing or whatever, the care provider thinks you are lying. Yea. And God forgive you if you think you know what you need and tell the provider, because they will promptly let you know that they are the doctor not you.

I am just saying that I think universal health care is a bad idea. Let us think of something else.