Saturday, December 29, 2007

Liar's Dice

I have been tagged by DCup for seven untrue facts about yours truly. Of course this concoction has been derived from Splotchy. Was there a question in your mind? In addition, because I can't say no, literary genius aside, call it charity to the minds.

1) Yesterday morning I awoke with trumpets being sounded and was escorted to work on top of giant elephants covered in jewels and a processional of forty two jaguars that had a slight touch of gray in their coats.

2) The occasion was trumped when the President of the Federation of Planets arrived via her flying Yugo. She announced that she is stepping down to let me pave the way as the new PFP. I know you are all ecstatic about his new development.

3) My first act as the PFP was to decommission Mars. The Martians upon hearing the great news decided to send Earth a fission bomb as and act of kindness. Knowing full well that Earth is not big enough to handle a fission bomb, I plucked it out of the atmosphere while flying in my Yugo and ate it. The indigestion from the fission bomb was horrendous; luckily, for me China has developed a new antacid from lead that does the trick every time you eat a fission bomb from Mars.
4) During lunch, news traveled fast of my appointment as the PFP, an assassination attempt was made on my life from the Plutonians. I saw them coming far ahead before they got to me, since Earth isn't filled with cartoon dogs. I gathered them up with the help of my right-footed trolls and put them in my trunk of my flying Yugo.

5) Mid-afternoon I received a medal of distinguished service as the PFP from the planet Saturn. It was presented for my long and illustrious service as a PFP.

6) Tired from the long day, I declared three in the afternoon official nap time and napped we did. I laid to rest atop my bed of elongated buffalo nickels enchanted with fairy dust. The fairy dust came from the fairy I have mounted on my wall of trophies. It is famous in thirty-four galaxies and a honorable mention in two universes.

7) After my nap, I borrowed Mathman's TARDIS, unfortunately it needed some maintenance and has left me stranded inside core of Mars, which I have decommissioned and unable to leave via the TARDIS. The Martians know this and have replaced my body on Earth with a Martian clone to take over the Federation of Planets and eventually decommission Earth.
So since this is a tagging game, I tag:
I figure since I had to come up with seven fibs which almost doubled my current tally, I would give this gift to seven others.