The Ugly Duckling, Part II

My Life According to Google

My life according to Google
Type in the following and choose the first choice:
(I used my real first name in the search bar)

1: Type in "[your name] needs" in the Google search:
Wyldth1ng Needs Rehab

2: Type in "[your name] looks like" in Google search:
Wyldth1ng looks like a pretty white boy.

3: Type in "[your name] does" in Google search:
Wyldth1ng does Frisbee.

4: Type in "[your name] hates" in Google search:
Wyldth1ng HATES TYPOS.


5: Type in "[your name] goes" or "has gone" in Google search:
Wyldth1ng goes to hell

6: Type in "[your name] loves" in Google search:
Wyldth1ng loves to spin.


7: Type in "[your name] eats" in Google search:
Wyldth1ng eats dripping vagina.

8: Type in "[your name] has" in Google search:
Wyldth1ng has guts.

10: Type in "[your name] won't" in Google Search
Wyldth1ng won't be brought down and he and his friends sing about surviving.

11: Type in "[your name] can't" in Google Search
Wyldth1ng can’t be scared tonight.


12: Type in "[your name] wants" in Google Search
Wyldth1ng wants to try out a new truth serum on a volunteer.

13: Type in "[your name] makes" in Google Search
Wyldth1ng makes Gabriella HOT!

14: Type in "[your name] killed" in Google Search
Wyldth1ng killed on the Job.

RevGals Friday FIve: Word Association

Think summer......are you there? Below you will find five words or phrases. Tell us the first thing you think of on reading each one. Your response might be simply another word, or it might be a sentence, a poem, a memory, a recipe, or a story. You get the idea:

1. rooftop
Water Balloons

2. gritty
Arizona

3. hot town (yeah, I know, it's two words)
SummerFest

4. night
Full Moon

5. dance
Sex

For Fun, Part III

Your result for The Monty Python Character Test...

The Knight of Ni

You scored 70 Stubborn, 68 Crazy, 82 Agressive, and 88 Evil!

Apperance: The Holy Grail.



Evil, agressive, stubborn and utterly mad crazy fellow. :D



High Light:



Knights of Ni: Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni!

Arthur: Who are you?

Knight of Ni: We are the Knights who say..... "Ni"!

Arthur: (horrified) No! Not the Knights who say "Ni"!

Knight of Ni: The same.

Other Knight of Ni: Who are we?

Knight of Ni: We are the keepers of the sacred words: Ni, Ping, and Nee-womm!

Other Knight of Ni: Nee-womm!

Arthur: (to Bedevere) Those who hear them seldom live to tell the tale!

Knight of Ni: The knights who say "Ni" demand..... a sacrifice!

Arthur: Knights of Ni, we are but simple travelers who seek the enchanter who lives beyond these woods.

Knights of Ni: Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni!

Bedevere: No! Noooo! Aaaugh! No!

Knight of Ni: We shall say "Ni" to you... if you do not appease us.

Arthur: Well what is it you want?

Knight of Ni: We want.....



(pregnant pause)



A SHRUBBERY!!!!


(dramatic minor chord)


Arthur: A *WHAT*?

Knights of Ni: Ni! Ni!! Ni! Ni!

Arthur; No! No! Please, please, no more! We will find you a shrubbery.

Knight of Ni: You must return here with a shrubbery... or else you will never pass through this wood... alive.

Arthur: O Knights of Ni, you are just and fair, and we will return with a shrubbery.

Knight of Ni: One that looks nice.

Arthur: Of course!

Knight of Ni: And not *too* expensive.

Arthur; Yes!

Knight of Ni: Noowwwww.... GO!


(music)


Arthur: O Knights of Ni. We have brought you your shrubbery. May we go now?

Knight of Ni: Yes, it is a good shrubbery. I like the laurels particularly. But there is one small problem....

Arthur: What is that?

Knight of Ni: We are now *no longer* the Knights Who Say "Ni"!
Other Knights of Ni: Ni! Shh! Shh!

Knight of Ni: We are now the Knights who say "Ekky-ekky-ekky-ekky-z'Bang, zoom-Boing, z'nourrrwringmm".

Other Knight of Ni: Ni!

Knight of Ni: Therefore, we must give you a test.

Arthur: What is this test, o Knights of..... Knights who 'til recently said "Ni"?

Knight of Ni: Firstly, you must find.... ANOTHER SHRUBBERY!!!


(another minor chord)


Arthur: Oh not *another* shrubbery!!

Knight of Ni: (excitedly) THEN... Then, when you have found the shrubbery, you must place it here, beside this shrubbery, only slightly higher, so we get the two-level effect with a little path running down the middle.

Other Knights of Ni: A path! A path! A path! Shh, shhh. Ni! Ni!

Knight of Ni: Then, when you have found the shrubbery, you must cut down the mightiest tree in the forest... Wiiiiiithh.... A HERRING!

Take The Monty Python Character Test at HelloQuizzy

Questions, Comments and Concerns

Disclaimer: The different tenses of the word fuck are used for emphasis.

Please remember, I like me. I think me is fucking awesome.

Sometimes I just have some trouble hitting the fucking curve balls. Sometimes when I hit the fucking curve balls, the fucking thing goes out hits the fucking foul line pole and bounces out. Then that fucking umpire says something like you're fucking out! Usually, I just don't give a fuck and life goes on. There have been some rarefied occasions when giving a fuck has fucked me worse. The last week has been an example of the special fucking that I received. While I haven't gone into detail of the supreme fucking that I encountered this week; it wasn't necessarily to keep you all in the dark; it is just something I don't feel should be shared in a fucking public forum.

The Walls are Closing In

Do you ever feel like the walls are closing in at an alarming rate? So fast that by the time you feel you could put your arms out to stop it, you are already being crushed. Well, that has been the gist of what I have been experiencing lately. Of course, beer doesn't help, but it sure tastes good. I know my problems are light in comparison to most people. I know that life could be a lot worse. I know that in the big picture of things I am doing better than the majority of people my age. But knowing all of that, doesn't change anything. Luckily, since I have a wondrous and colorful past of near death experiences and total poverty, my outlook on life has a certain "moral flexibility". Since I have this moral flexibility, I know I am going to hell. I have my own name plate with poisonous shards sticking through it. Odds are, there isn't any beer in hell either.

I am sure that Mephistopheles is taking the tally very serious.

Fun with Navy Medicine, Part XIV

I have surgery scheduled for the middle of July. We, the doctor and I, have come to the conclusion that nothing more can be done without surgery for my wrist. Of course, this means there are several other things that can go wrong, which one of the major reasons it has been put off this long. `

The thumb problem will never get better. You could read this in two ways:
Gift from the Marine Corps or Screwed for life.

The Ugly Duckling

As the years have gone by, so have my smooth skin and my pure brown hair. I know in my youth that I was an attractive young man. I know that I hesitated very little before doing something, almost anything. I was easy to please and virtually happy for almost all of my teens and twenties. (I know I am young yet.) For the last few years though, things have been changing. I don't feel I am as attractive as I once was. I have wrinkles and parts of my body hurt almost everyday. I have gray hair coming out in all sorts of odd places. And I really haven't been happy. I have been content, but not happy. I am not sure what has all changed and I am not sure I really want to go back. My career seems to be on hold as I try "to get fixed" and healthy. I hope for the best and prepare for the worst, which is not how it used to be. It used to be hope the best and God help me for the worst. Sometimes, I wish someone would tell me that I am good looking. Just once in while, I don't need that everyday.

It would be nice to hear it, once.

RevGals Friday Five: Beach Trip

1. Ocean rocks, lake limps? Vice versa? Or "it's all beautiful in its own way"?
I prefer the lakes, but must as big as Winnebago or it is just a pond.

2. Year round beach living: Heaven...or the Other Place?
Maybe after I turn 60, but lately I have seen a enough beach to last awhile.

3. Any beach plans for this summer?
Of course, I live in North Carolina.

4. Best beach memory ever?
Elkhart Lake the 80's

5. Fantasy beach trip?
Female to Male ratio 10 to 1, sand consistency of 600 to 800 grit, sun at 9 am, a light 3 to 5 mph breeze from the south, and the rest will take care of itself.

Bonus: Share a piece of music/poetry/film/book that expresses something about what the beach means to you.


Warning: Not for young minds.

Something Funny About America

There is an article from the MOD, Ministry of Defence, talking about how America is not a dream, kind of.

Here is some excerpts:

First the warning:

"Americans are very warm and welcoming, especially to military personnel, but – make no mistake – America is a foreign country, and as far as the locals are concerned, you are foreign aliens."

Next comes the advice:

"Take the time off you need to settle in. Until you know your family is OK you won't be able to get on with your job effectively. And make sure you take your leave and get to see the country. Americans don't tend to take much holiday, and they work six days a week. But it's in your terms and conditions of service, so don't miss out."

You have to find the humor in it. To read the whole article, you can read it here.

Hat Tip to Rogue Gunner.

Future Looks Bright

The selections for Gunnery Sergeant came out today and I have many friends and peers that have been selected. (The message is, FY 2008 APPROVED SELECTIONS TO GUNNERY SERGEANT 110830Z JUN 08, in case someone is looking for it.) I was in the below zone this year(I talk about what that means here.) so most likely I will be in zone next year. This has its pros and cons with it. The obvious pros are that selection to the next rank is possible and moving up the ladder may be quicker than originally expected. The cons are that I need to heal up and do some prerequisites such as the career course and all the normal "green" side training prior to the board next year. If all goes as well as it has this shouldn't be a major factor come next year this time.

The home purchase is moving along nicely and there should be no reason I can't close on the 27th of this month. I think I am more excited to find out what I have in my storage than the actual purchase. All my things have been in storage since June of 2005.

Rant Number 614

I just spent the last three hours on the phone with NMCI (Navy Marine Corps Intranet). The problem that I was trying to get resolved is still not resolved. Basically, I just wasted my time. I have an issue with PDF documents. It appears to the common user to be a software problem, but the technician on the other side said my CD-ROM drive was the culprit. I have nothing in my CD-ROM drive, the document is on my computer, what the fuck does that have anything to do with viewing documents. The technician, if that is what he is called, told me to get a new CD-ROM installed or a new computer. Right, that is going to happen. Let say it does happen they take my computer away, odds are I won't get a "loaner" and the original won't be here for months. At the end of our conversation he said to call back if that doesn't fix the problem. Holy begeezus! So really, he didn't have a clue what was going on.

I Am My Father's Son

I wrote this a few weeks ago to my Mom and Dad. With Father's Day approaching, I thought it may( or may not) pertain to others as well. Even if you can't relate to it, it may give you a better glimpse of where I came from.


I have been thinking about Dad a lot lately. Pa is on his way out the door, so to speak. I have been thinking about how I am now in comparison to him.

Yes, I successfully quit smoking for a year and half but now it seems that I started to buy cigarettes again, so I suppose it was a good run wasn't it? We have that in common.

I drink. I drink copious amounts of alcohol. I say it is for the pain, but it doesn't go away. The pain is still there. We have that in common.

I get hurt and usually wait to go to the doctor. My thinking is why waste everyone's time, I might get better. This is usually not the case, I do end up going in and get "scolded" for not coming in earlier. We have that in common.

I joined the Marine Corps. You could say I did it to get away. I have often heard the stories of how his(Dad) brothers couldn't hack it in the Army and he was/is a Marine. We have that in common.

So you could say I know what my fate is, I see Dad, the way he is now and I see where/how I am going to be. I don't want this life of mine to end up that way. I need to start making changes. I want Dad to start some changes. Dad can be quite stubborn. We have that in common.

Not Wanting to Grow Up

I am a walking talking adult. I have responsibilities. I have duties. I have mutual respect for other walking talking adults. I don't care if you are purple or green. One arm or four.

I do want to be a kid again. Even if it is for two minutes on the tail end of my day. Laughter is truly the best medicine. If I can play and laugh and giggle and make fun and get poked back and get tickled and jump up and down and make silly faces and sing a tune and whistle for jest and splash around and build sand castles and maybe even tell a dirty joke, then I know I lived that day.

I don't need other people, I don't need other adults, I don't need kids. I can be "silly" just with me. Sometimes I do make silly faces at what seems like random times, and others view me as odd. Maybe I still have something I can hold on to. Maybe I am, still, a kid inside.

Jupiter -Holst

Trying to find a decent You Tube video was not easy. I played cornet, like smaller trumpet, for years and still play on occasion. Just for all you by request.

RevGals Friday Five: Kodak Moments

1. How important is the "big picture" to you, do you need a glimpse of the possibilities or are you a details person?Work is all details, personal life is possibilities.

2. If the big picture is important to you how do you hold onto it in the nitty gritty details of life?

I make the best of whatever situation I am in at the moment. I make the best out of a worst case scenario.

3. Name a book, poem, psalm, piece of music that transports to to another dimension ( one....what am I thinking....)

Jupiter - Gustov Holst

4.Thinking of physical views, is there somewhere that inspires you, somewhere that you breathe more easily?
In the eyes of a person who sees me as me.

5. A picture opportunity... post one if you can ( or a link to one!)

Two by Two - Cover Formation

Two names you go by:
1) Wyldth1ng
2) Staff Sergeant

Two things you are wearing right now:
1) Olive Drab Tee
2) Reading Glasses

Two of your favorite things:
1) Pinball
2) Strawberries

Two things you want very badly at the moment:
1) Something to go right for a change
2) Acceptance of me being me.

Two favorite pets you have or had:
1) I had a gold fish once, he died like fifty times.
2) Sturgis - German Shepard

Two people you hope will fill this out:
1) DCup
2) Mathman

Two things you did last night:
1) Danced (I am white guy, so keep that in mind.)
2) Sang a little karaoke (Piano Man and Jack & Diane)

Two things you ate last night:
1) Does Captain and Coke count?
2) Chicken Fingers

Two people you last talked to:
1) The Boss (Master Sergeant)
2) A random Marine of whom I corrected his attire.

Two things you are doing tomorrow:
1) Washing my truck
2) Taking Pictures of Future Home for the Insurance Company

Two of farthest trips taken in the last 5 years:
1) Yuma, Arizona to Okinawa, Japan (3 round trips)
2) Jacksonville, North Carolina to Al Asad, Iraq (2 round trips)

Two favorite holidays:
1) Marine Corps Birthday (November 10th)
2) I would say my birthday but I don't like the fact the number keeps getting bigger. (October 22nd)

Two favorite beverages:
1) Dr. Pepper
2) Captain and Coke

Green Backs

I don't know if anyone has noticed but the interest rates have gone up across the board. In this area the lowest mortgage rate as of yesterday was 6.3%. I am getting a 6.0% on my home I am purchasing, but had I applied two weeks earlier I probably could have gotten one around 5.3%. So in the big picture what does that mean? It means that I will if I keep the loan for its life I am looking at about sixty-five thousand dollar difference. That is a lot.
`
On other news, my TSP (Thrift Savings Plan) which in a way is my retirement savings, took a big hit this last quarter and my gains equated to about 3%. That is pretty crappy. I did some moving around (with my money) and this next quarter I hoping for a minimum of a increase of 6%. Last year all my investments, gained an average of 8%. So overall, I am on track. (My goal is to not have to work after the age of 50.) I wish I would have started investing when I was 20, but we all know how that goes. (Originally, my goal was 45. I was aiming too unrealistically.)



This is actually the second year in a row where our (military) money is worth less. We, in theory, were supposed to have an inflation increase every year above the inflation for six years to "catch up" with the rest of the civilized world and it was extended for four more. This was Congress' fault last year and it was the President's this year. Don't get me wrong, I make decent money now, but it took me ten years to get there. If I was married and had kids, I would be struggling and probably would have to have a second or third income.

Music in my Head, Part II

Too Sick to Pray(Song Title) - Alabama3(Band Name)

I'm in a lonely room
Hank Williams sings the Lovesick Blues
Winter's walking up the avenue
And I ain't seen the sunshine since the 6th of June
But I tell you this

Chorus:
Don't call the doctor, I'm gonna get better
Don't run for the priest, I'm gonna find some faith
Just because I burned my bible baby
It don't mean, I'm too sick to pray

I'm in a crowded place
But I can't recognize a single face
They say the thrill is in the chase
Well I ain't got the legs, ain't got the legs

To run that race

But I tell you this

Chorus:

Don't call the doctor, I'm gonna get better
Don't run for the priest, I'm gonna find some faith
Just because I burned my bible baby
It don't mean, I'm too sick to pray

They say I made my money messing up young minds

I stooped the congregation and left them crying in the rain
Yea left them with their pain
Exit your boy with his ill-got left them crying in the rain
Yea left them with their pain
Exit your boy with his ill-got pain
Exit your boy with his ill-gotten gains

Well the blood runs deep and the blood runs cold

As the knife slits so another sucker is born and thrown into this world alone
The doctor came knocking, wasn't nobody home
Better burn a candle light

Rap

Ease The Pain

Repeat Chorus

The doctor came knocking, wasn't nobody home

Ease the pain
Gotta find some faith

Repeat chorus

Better burn the candle bright

Rap

Ease The Pain

Dreams, Part II

I have been trying something different to sleep. A friend has given me a copy of listening MP3s by Brian L. Weiss, MD. It is the relaxation type stuff. It has been working so far, I am on day 2 of my week test to see how it goes. I still haven't had a dream that I remember as of yet, but I am early in the week. Maybe tonight will be my lucky night.