Psychos R Us, Part II A

I have an ego, that is why I used egotistical as one of my words to describe myself. Whether or not it is good or bad depends, really, on what setting I am at. Militarily it is a good thing. Otherwise, not so much. I run into problems when I find myself unable to turn off work mode and venture out into the civilian world.

(I always that it was funny, when military personnel refer to the civilian world as the real world. Makes one think that the military is fake in that context. Or a make belief world.)

Psychos R Us, Part II

My homework assignment for the week is to explain one of the five words I used to describe myself. ( I only came up with four.) He had said most often people respond with emotional words as I did not. I didn't say I was happy or sad, but did say very specific adjectives and adverbs that I thought described me.

Word of the week is: egotistical

My idea as of today is: I have a very proud history, I have accomplished many things, I am a Marine, I am very intelligent and view myself as smarter than most people I interact with, I am good at my job, I am going to live forever.

Peanut Gallery: Autumn Edition

I feel it has been awhile since I have opened the floor to questioning. So for the next week whatever trips your trigger, I will attempt to answer. I will close for questions on Friday and post the Q n A on Monday or Tuesday of next week.

Marines at Home

RevGals Friday Five: Transformations

For this Friday's Five, share with us five transformations that the coming fall will bring your way.

1) Surgery of the Wrist
2) Learning to share of who I am Vocally
3) Asking for Help and Accepting it
4) Re-learning how to use my left arm
5) Rekindling stagnate relationships

Fun with Navy Medicine, Part XVIII

It seems to be that the surgery I had mentioned earlier is immanent. The doctor wants another MRI with this dye stuff injected into my wrist. Odds are that appointment will not be until at next week at the earliest. Then I see him again about a week after that. This is then followed by scheduling the surgery which would take us about three to five weeks from now. Then the recovery period of about eight weeks (staying at home) and then more of the occupational therapy that I have been doing. Hopefully, if all goes well, then a "speedy" recovery to full duty status and continue with life.

The gist of the surgery, from what I remember from my visit today, is grafting a ligament from another place of my wrist and applying it to where it is needed. In this process, a pin will be inserted between the two bones, that are currently separated, and at least two more pins in bones around (or above) the first pin. After the grafted ligament takes a hold the pins will be taken out and possibly a screw may have to be inserted into the two bones I mentioned before. If healing goes well, the screw would be taken out and viola a new wrist.

Psychos R Us

Psychos R Us, an original from me, while it seems to some I knock myself while using this phrase or title, I find it amuses me.

I have made a list comprising of ideas from you, the reader, and some stuff that I came up all by myself. I plan on going over the ideas with my head doctor tomorrow and see how it goes from there.

Oddly enough, most of you and friends here in J-ville have suggested almost identical ideas. So probably (and statistically) it may be a flaw that needs looking at. I will tell you what, though, some of the suggestions are hard to think about just by myself, let alone talk to someone else about it.

To me, in my mind, I have a firm grasp on financial affairs, my social interactions, and most of my emotions. It appears that the problems I do face are, unfortunately, directly related to my childhood. Stirring the pot of the past is always a non-fun moment for me. Another reason, why, I choose to look at the future more regularly.

As a side note, I plan on splintering off my unusual "Fun with Navy Medicine" posts when dealing with this stuff and will be using the above title for the continuation of this projected series.

Realities of War

I was reviewing the Lessons Learned safety letter today and it is very disheartening to know that war is the least of our problems. I have outspoken this to many people, whom dismiss what I say. War doesn't kill as bad as complacency and recreation does. I don't expect anyone to be able to go to this link without a (.mil) computer but the following link is the breakdown by the numbers:
http://siadapp.dmdc.osd.mil/personnel/CASUALTY/OIF-Total

The numbers break down in all sorts of ways and you find out that the Army leads the pack in non-combat related deaths and injuries by a lot.
Here are some numbers that I pulled from the report.

During GWOT and OIF: March 19, 2003 to July 5,2008

Total Non Hostile Deaths
Total : 761
Army: 559
Navy/Coast Guard :32
Marines :152
Air Force: 18

Total—Non–Hostile Related Medical (Air Transports Hostile and Non Hostile)
(Numbers include wounded in action)
Total : 42,395
Army : 34,732
Navy/Coast Guard : 1,274
Marines : 4,803
Air Force : 1,586

I obviously don't have the numbers for all the services for off-duty mishaps but reading this year's "so far" report for us doesn't make feel very warm and fuzzy about the rest. For our critical days of summer where traditionally fatalities rise; the Marine Corps appears to be doing better than last year. Still, a death, regardless of how it happened still hurts the brothers and sisters still here.

For the 15 weeks of summer(about Memorial Day to Labor Day)
Marine Corps (Non-Combat):
Total Fatalities FY08: 15

Navy(Non-Combat) :
Total Fatalities FY08 :18

Over half of the Marine Corps deaths that have occurred this summer are related to motorcycles. Also, the Navy shares half of their deaths to the same factor. So it is not surprising why there are so many safety guidelines and restrictions with the motorcyclists.


Here is an excerpt from the data of these deaths:

2ndLT was traveling east on highway 24 when his motorcycle struck another vehicle at an intersection. He was pronounced dead at the scene.

Sgt was killed after losing control of his motorcycle, striking a telephone pole and a fence.

GySgt died in a hospital after he and his passenger were thrown from the motorcycle they were riding. After losing control, he left the roadway and crashed down an embankment.

Sgt riding on a motorcycle collided with a guardrail, was ejected from the motorcycle and sustained fatal injuries.

LCpl was found unresponsive after a night of drinking.

LCpl and his passenger were killed in a motorcycle crash with a trailer.

SSgt killed in a motorcycle crash when his motorcycle veered off the road striking a curb, then impacting a tree.

Cpl died of injuries he received when involved in a motorcycle crash after hitting a curb and being thrown to street.

HM- assigned to Camp Pendleton, his wife and 4 year old son were killed when the car they were driving was struck head on by the driver of a pick-up truck that crossed the double yellow lines.

LCpl was passenger in a vehicle involved in a head-on collision.

Sgt was killed when his vehicle left the road and hit a tree.

Pvt departed a social event and was walking in the road when he was struck by a civilian vehicle and killed.

Cpl was found dead on ground below 7th story hotel balcony.

LCpl who was TAD to Recruiting Substation, died after being involved in a motorcycle accident when his motorcycle crashed into a building.


Hopefully, we will learn from this and live another day.

Post Number Six Hundred and Sixty-Six

I could never be in Wisconsin for more than a few years at a time. I couldn't be anywhere for more than a few years at a time. I am a nomad. Kind of. After high school, the longest I have ever been in one place was Yuma, Arizona. (I also have ocean front property there.) So it may be better that I have homes in the West and one now in the East. Maybe one day if things work out, I will have one in the Midwest as well. That way I could kind of jump around from one place to the other and not really get sick of one place and have the option to return on happier terms. ( I am also in debt past my eyeballs for awhile.)

The big picture of things, really, is I have about six years and six months of the Marine Corps until retirement. That is the goal. By accomplishing that goal, I should have the resources and the foresight to be able to live my life the way I want to. I may still need a job, but I won't have to make sacrifices of taking a job I don't want.

I figure at my current state of affairs I should be able to drop my current debt to around two hundred thousand by the time I retire. That should give you an indication of how much debt I have now. (If you are looking for a sugar daddy, stop reading here.)

I have been wondering what I want to do in seven years, and I really haven't the foggiest. I do know what I don't want to do and that is a start.

I do not plan on moving back to Wisconsin permanently. I would like to visit on occasion, but that is about as far as it gets for me. I still consider myself a cheesehead. Cheeseheads don't have to stay in Wisconsin they can be nomads like me.

I figure because I have moved so much since I have been in may be the big reason behind it all. I have gotten used to moving. I am pretty good at it. The only things I have ever lost in a move was due to external parties "helping" me. My number of possessions are really to a minimum. I still have lots of stuff, but nothing in comparison to those who stay rooted to one spot over a decade. And maybe that is a blessing as well. The items I do exchange or rid myself of, I always find out if friends are in need of it first before selling or giving it to the local charities.

In the end, I look and see a promising future.

RevGals Friday Five: Dog Day Afternoons

1. What is your sweetest summer memory from childhood? Did it involve watermelon or hand cranked ice cream? Or perhaps a teen summer romance. Which stands out for you?
WASC (Wisconsin Association of Student Councils) Camp my Junior year of high school. Fun, devious, and lots of laughs.

2. Describe your all time favorite piece of summer clothing. The one thing you could put on in the summer that would seem to insure a cooler, more excellent day.
Sandals (Jesus' type)

3. What summer food fills your mouth with delight and whose flavor stays happily with you long after eaten?
Strawberries

4. Tell us about the summer vacation or holiday that holds your dearest memory.
Sorento, Italy - I had a three day pass from the USS Nassau in 1997, it was bliss.

5. Have you had any experience(s) this summer that has drawn you closer to God or perhaps shown you His wonder in a new way?
Funny, maybe...I will have to get back to you all on that.

Bonus question: When it is really hot, humid and uncomfortable, what do you do to refresh and renew body and spirit?
Shower and a beer.

Constructive Criticism, Part II

Really.
I wasn't kidding.

Please tell me what you think is fucked up about me. Everyone I run into keeps telling me it is a good thing to see a head doctor, but obviously I need more than " I just need to go."

I think the last one was leaning towards relationships and family crap, but she and I didn't "click" so I am seeing a new guy.

The original reason I went there to see "psychos are us" was due to me having hard hitting bouts of depression after returning from Iraq. I really haven't had anything like that for quite awhile now and I fixed it on my own(so to speak). It is not command directed, I went on my own accord.

So back the first request, help me "see" what I missing about myself. Obviously there is something I can improve on.

Constructive Criticism

The head doctor I am currently seeing has asked me for goals. Goals of what I want accomplished in talking with him over the next few months. I frankly don't know and told him so.

He told me to try and come up with something by next week. Since I currently am at a loss with this, I would like some feedback from all of you.

What do see or read that it seems that I need help with?
If you know me personally, then through out some ideas. Good or bad or indifferent, doesn't matter.

Fun with Navy Medicine, Part XVII

Occupational therapy sent me home today with homework. A few exercises and stretches to do while at work.

Warm-Up:
Forearm Resting on table:
Extension - Active with finger extension (Straight palm)
Flexion - Active with finger extension (Straight palm)

Wrist:
Extension - Active with finger Flexion (Fist)
Flexion - Active with finger Flexion (Fist)

Ulnar Deviation - (Left/right straight palm)
Radial Deviation- Active with finger Flexion (Fist)

Thumb:
Extension (Hitchhiker)
Flexion (Middle of palm)

To side ("L"):
Extension/Flexion - Hand Flat on table
Extension/Flexion - Hand on side on table

Exercises:
Bend elbow at side, turn hand palm up/down (Pushing/Pulling with other hand)
Bend elbow at side, Hold hammer(something heavy) and rotate palm up/down (wrist straight)

Active Assisted Wrist Range of Motion Exercises:
Arm on table with thumb up, bend hand at wrist (Pushing/Pulling with other hand)
Rest forearm on table , bend at wrist (Pushing/Pulling with other hand)

I was told to hold off on the exercises for a while until I get the go ahead from the doctor, but the warm- up is bad enough at this point. I do most of this stuff while at occupational therapy and some other "fun" stuff that goes into my evil category.

Time Management

As most of you have probably noticed I haven't been visiting everyone's blogs and other nifty things floating on the web. Last night for example I was at work until 0437, I know that was the time because I looked at my watch as I was pinning the door. So I suppose I earned my paycheck yesterday by working a twelve hour shift. My Marine is currently on leave and will be for the next two weeks, so that means I am soloing it. This week being an inspection week makes it not fun by itself. I had occupational therapy today for two and half hours, then went to pay some bills, got a haircut and picked up some chicken tenders on the way to work. My arm hurts pretty bad and the drugs just kind of dull the pain. I would love to leave early but that is just not in the cards for me. I some reports I have to finish up tonight and the boss doesn't know where the forms are located which adds to the fun.(Reports that are "new and improved") Twice this week I will be guaranteed to be late for work because of the scheduling of my doctor's appointments, another fun add on. The topping on the cake is the mandatory fun day that is scheduled for Friday, oh, and I have to provide a dessert for.

So my humble apologies for not seeing everyone's stuff and I hope you all know that I will catch up when I can.

Inspection Week and A New Boss

All week we are having a CNAF (Commander, Naval Air Forces) Inspection which is normal done once every two years and a Wing inspection on the alternating years. I am not going to go into too much more detail on who they are, just know that it is really important to people with lots of shiny stuff on their collars. Usually the maintenance department (me) will have their inspection then the supply department will have theirs the following week. So naturally, everyone has been fussing about and most of the preparation happens the week prior, even though it would be done gradually over the course of the year.

With that we received a new officer who came from a training squadron and is instantly changing stuff. Some of it I agree with, most of it I don't, but that is why he makes the big bucks, right? Some of the changes guarantee me to never have an early night off. Not a big fan of that idea. A lot of the processes we do here are not done anywhere else, the MALS (Marine Aviation and Logistics Squadron) have to put it bluntly, added common sense to what we do and got rid of most of the dumb crap. Crazy stuff, I know. So our new officer, is completely foreign to our concepts and will probably take a little while before he has a good grasp of the situation here. I do have to say it must suck a little to check-in to a new squadron and then they tell you "there is a major inspection next week. Good luck."

So this week we are doing everything by the numbers and hopefully we do well enough that someone might even get a good job out of it. Wouldn't that be fun.

RevGals Friday Five: Lock Me Out, Lock Me In

1) How do you amuse yourself when road construction blocks your travel?
I sing sesame street tunes.

2) Have you ever locked yourself out of your house? (And do you keep an extra key somewhere, just in case?)
Never. But I have helped others who have.

3) Have you ever cleared a hurdle? (And if you haven't flown over a material hurdle, feel free to take this one metaphorically.)
In high school, I was a 200m hurdler, but gave that up for pole vaulting.

4) What's your approach to a mental block?
Sleep

5) Suggest a caption for the picture above(Revgals site); there will be a prize for the funniest answer!
The prizes have already been awarded by the time I got to this today so I will abstain from this question.

Felix the Cat

I have always wanted to, but haven't, put a Felix the Cat behind a picture frame of an individual in my home. Felix was also my introduction to exotic drugs as a pre-teen. I won't elaborate, but if you know what I am talking about you can keep it to yourself and smile. I have a small collection of cartoons with Felix, along with Betty Boop and a few others. Mostly on VHS, so I will have to upgrade it eventually.

Something about the clock has always intrigued me. I suppose that is part of the corny humor that I have. Most people don't get it.

One of these days... One of these days.

Homework

Last night was the first day back to work for me. We have a major inspection coming up in the second week in August, which is the first of many inspections we receive from higher authorities throughout the year. It seems that many of the instructions I left behind while recovering were not followed. So my first day back I spent the bigger part of my shift going through large amounts of paperwork that needed to be completed.

Some of which is due today, so I ended up spending a few extra hours at work last night finishing up those things. Today, I am going to have to go in early just to keep the ball rolling and finish the week on schedule.

I brought home a bunch of stuff that didn't need to be instantly but needed to get done none the less. Usually stuff like this doesn't happen, but as I have gone up in rank it seems the paperwork increases in size proportionally.

Hopefully, I won't have too many more days like this. Today, is another one those back to the grindstone types. It is a good thing I don't have a short supply of coffee.

Resilience

My love life, my mental health, my duty, my spiritual self, my physical appearance, my wealth, my plans of the future, my here and now, my self worth, my social interactions, my habits, my knowledge, my candor, and the list can go on all have one uncanny link besides being part of me.

I grew up in a "non-normal" childhood. My wealth of knowledge starts simply with the casual passerby in a local bar and restaurant. We had a ballroom or dance hall which was occupied almost every weekend by social gatherings, weddings, and other large parties. I intermingled with strangers, friends and some people who most likely should have been enemies. By the age of 10, I had a firm grasp of how to set a table for multi-course meal and how to perform at such. Well, before that time I could tell you how figure out cost of a beer by either a quarter barrel (pony keg) or a half barrel. I knew the difference between glasses, what they were used, for how many ounces each was, and the importance of the illusions glasses perform on the customer. I learned how operating a business worked and how the text book(which was wrong most of the time) said you were supposed to run that business.

It wasn't until the summer before my eleventh birthday that I truly learned the value of money. My parents had two restaurants, sold the one making less money, and that summer the one left burned to the ground. We lost everything in that fire. Luckily, the fire occurred after everyone had left for the night.

It was different and to me wrong that my parents started enforcing curfews and required me to check periodically throughout the day. This practice was new to me. I never had to check in with anyone before and curfews were for other kids.

Eventually, my parents, through donations and help from family started another restaurant, one that they still have today, in the beginning of my freshman year. This one was a contrast to the others, smaller and we went to a history theme. My dad continued with the job he had at a local construction company until he retired a few years later.

My failure of my attempt at college after high school, which was clearly my fault, where I worked a full time job at a plating company about seventy miles away and also had a full course load. It probably would not have lasted much longer than it did anyway. I joined the Marine Corps. I really needed a change. My scores were high, and after some negotiations I received everything I wanted for my first enlistment.

Since joining I have have been married and divorced three times, mostly for different reasons but still there are common links. I have been deployed seven times. It is eight if you included Japan, but I was stationed there. I have essentially circled the globe four times. I am a shell back and a golden shell back. I have very few personal awards and most of them that I do have are for doing something no one else has done. Now most of those things are common or are becoming more common. I have been hurt badly enough five times to be hospitalized. Most are from electrocutions and I think makes sense since I am an electrician by trade. Up until this last deployment I have been relatively safe and have cause little trouble with the law on my off time for about four years. I suppose I was due.

I will tell you all that, I miss having a partner. But if having one means I have to get married again, you can forget it. Not worth it. With my current injury, I have a very hard time doing some simple tasks. For example, showering hurts tremendously. If I could be satisfied with cleaning only half of my body it would not be problem, but my body needs a total cleaning. I have dishes that need washing, right now a collection from the last week or so. I tried the other day, and it hurt so bad, that I thought maybe if I drugged myself up I could do it closer to painless. Yeah, I felt no pain, but I also stabbed myself and didn't feel that either. I stopped when the water was a deep red color. Now my dishes sit waiting.

I really don't want anyone to feel sorry for me. I don't. I just need some help to get me through this. I try not to ask the same person over and over again. I feel it is mostly stupid stuff and that is why it pisses me off. Tomorrow, I go back to work. It should be interesting and I am sure there will be plenty of paperwork to do. I feel I should have no problem with it, fore I have typed this with my right hand and my left index finger.

I have been through a lot in my short lifetime. I know that I have a lot to still go through.

Thank you to all who have helped with this injury and past injuries. I could not and can not go through all of this alone. I can't begin to tell you all how much I appreciate what help I have received, even if it is only talking with God.

Moving In, Upgrades,Part II

This weeks updates and upgrades.