Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Foreplay

While, normally, posts like this one are on a completely different blog; today, I have decided it pisses me off so much that I am sharing it with you all.

Foreplay is not:
A board game
Has nothing to do with golf
A secret kept by Buddhist monks
Only for men to perform

Foreplay is:
Explained quite well in The Meaning of Life (For men)
Essential for normal living
For both men and women

Why is it that I keep encountering women that have no idea what to do with a penis other than stick(accept) it in a hole?

I think that is a valid question.

Speaking of me, visual stimulation really doesn't do a whole lot for me and I really need touch. (I know I am giving away all my secrets here, shh.)
All those things that women like, such as:
the running of fingers through your hair
biting of the neck(insert your favorite body part here)
soft/hard kissing
(I really could go on, but I am sure everyone knows what I am talking about.)

I like these things as well. And sometimes, without a little foreplay, I am not ready to go. I am not twenty anymore. I was never a premature ejaculater, so much on the opposite that spectrum, more like the four hour problem that they keep warning us about. Still, I need a little bit more than the parting of the tides. It doesn't have to be TLC, but it does have to be a little stronger than blowing the seeds off a dandelion.