Sunday, April 20, 2008

The Internal Working of a Sane Man?

I have actually written about six different posts today but didn't publish any of them. (obvious) I have been contorting this idea I have, that I am kind of; in a fucked up way; figured out my faults or at least why it seems I have no love.

After my third failed marriage I went to a counselor with the idea that I am a "reject" or a bad apple of sorts and at the time I don't think I liked me. Well, today at least, I like me. I think me is fucking awesome. Me, is slowly, changing what parts I knew I had to change at some point.

Yesterday, I went to the commissary and bought diet Dr. Pepper. The key word in that sentence is diet. I am not ready to give up my Dr. Pepper so I am making the transition of lots of soda to controlled soda intake. See, the logic here?

Last year I quit smoking and in fact on average there is at least one person reading about that every 16 hours. Now, that is crazy.

There are lots of little tweaks that I have been meaning to do, but haven't probably because I am a lazy fuck. (One of the occupational therapist doesn't like the word fuck. So I compromised with her and made a swear jar for the therapy room. So far I only donated about four bucks over two weeks.)

One of the big ones, in my humble opinion, is the spiritual part. I am missing something, but I am willing to work on that. I am. As long as God can live with a few slips of the word fuck every now and then, I think this might be doable.