Thursday, February 07, 2008

Fun with Navy Medicine, Part VIII

Going by the preliminaries, it is sad to say it but my care was better in Iraq. The theory was once this magic email occurred then I would see some orthopedic doc, maybe get an MRI, receive the surgery I need and then be on my merry way of recovery. That was a beautiful theory wasn't it?

Well, my doc can't get a hold of this other doc so he gives me this number XXX-HELP. At first, I am thinking my drugs have me thinking funny, then I remembered I didn't take any yet. Then I was thinking, he is playing a joke on me. Nope that was the number. (I purposely didn't give you all the prefix.) So I called the number and this is my conversation:

Lady: Blah blah blah, HELP line.

Me: This is Staff Sergeant Wyldth1ng is this the number to set up an appointment with orthopedics?

Lady: Do you have a consult?

Me: Yes.

Lady: Give me you blah, blah and blah?
(I hear "blah blah and blah")

Me: Can you repeat that? I didn’t understand you.

Lady: Give me your SSN, your address and birth date.

So, I give her the info and she says: That is not your address.

Me: Yes, it is.

Lady: No we have ____ as your address.
I then explain to her that this address she has is an address I used when I was stationed here in 1996 and I had just returned from a deployment and what I gave her is my true address.

Lady: Have a good day.

Me: Hold on! Hold on! You didn't give me an appointment date or time.

Lady: You won't have one for at least a month. You will need to call back to this number in about a week to ten days, select option four and then you might have an appointment to see orthopedics.

Me: You have got to be kidding me.

Lady: No, sir, this the process.

Me: I have been dealing with this since November in IRAQ, there has to be a solution that is quicker.

Lady: I am sorry sir. You are just going to have to call back, maybe you could try early next week. Have a good day.

Me: Have a better day.